Memorial Day Weekend

As I sit here and type, I am guilty of being grateful for the long weekend and not grateful enough for those who have given all for their country so we can appreciate the freedoms we are privileged to have. Please say a prayer to remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure our freedom. Just this week, Connecticut lost another soldier in this endless war on terrorism. This Memorial Day will be a poignant one for the family of Staff Sgt. Edwin Rivera as they grieve his loss. We all grew up watching movies that showed the eagerness with which soldiers and civilians alike defended their country with little to no regard for themselves or their own lives. I could not understand how or even why they could just go off and fight a war they were not even assured of winning...that is until 9/11/01. I am sure I am not alone in having come to the realization that self-preservation is a strong motivator. The need to defend home and family, friends, and neighbors is a compelling one and despite being sucker-punched, the United States has stood strong and united. As a country we have become more aware of the atrocities of war and the long-term effects it has on our returning veterans. Vietnam veterans returned to a country in turmoil and protesters who threw hate at them for having been drafted into service and for doing their jobs. Yes, there were some who stepped over the line, but the majority were young men away from home for the first time who were fulfilling their tour of duty. Today's soldiers return home to a hero's welcome and the respect that their forefathers fought so hard to command. It's okay to be grateful for the long weekend, but while you're enjoying the family barbecue, remember those who won't be having a burger and a beer with their family. Remember that our soldiers will be working around the clock without overtime or a thank you...unless we say it to them. Thank you to all the veterans for your service. Thank you to all the servicemen and women who are currently deployed or recently returned, our appreciation is genuine and sincere. Remember that freedom isn't free and it is our soldiers who pay the price.

Dinner Guests

As I wade my way through Mark Twain, one of my classmates commented that Twain was something akin to a dinner guest who regales you with his wit and humor. Strangely, you find that you enjoy his humor and stories and even though you know he's pulling your leg, the entertainment value is just that good. So, as you can tell, I am falling under the charm of a master story teller and thoroughly enjoying myself to boot...go figure! I am trying my best to take my classes one day at at time. As a result, I am not as stressed (yet) as I normally get by this point in the semester; therefore, I am able to take some pleasure in this great American author and the journey through this course. What I get out of this class so far is that I should not take myself too seriously. A positive attitude can make or break almost any encounter, so why not bring your best to the table and become the dinner guest that gets invited back. We can't all be Mark Twain, but who doesn't love the “life of the party” who tells these amazing stories, right?

Focus

Well, I've gotten one week under my belt. I had a mini-meltdown Sunday night as I allowed myself to get caught up in what I had to do and failed to focus on what I had already done. I had done the research on the grant foundation and the basics of the paper, but I kept focusing on what I still had to do. Of course it probably had a lot to do with my frustration at missing the NFC Championship game, but my bad for not doing it earlier in the day. Frustration is easy to give in to when you would really rather be doing something other than schoolwork on a Sunday night. Note to self-finish all schoolwork by late afternoon on February 7th so I don't miss the Super Bowl. After I dried my tears and swallowed my pride, I shared this with a friend of mine and her advice was to take a breath and focus on what was left to do that night, nothing more. I lamented the fact I still had to take a true/false quiz in Mark Twain, submit the grant paper, and that I was taking enough breaths to hyperventilate! Her response: find a paper bag to breathe into and if there was a bottle of wine in it, well, so be it! So, I toughed it out. I finished the paper, took the quiz and found out I was freaked out over nothing. It was a simple quiz to make sure we "get" what we read during the first week, nothing more, nothing less. Keep plugging along and don't be afraid to share your concerns with a friend because you're not alone in your journey unless you want to be.

Obstacles

For anyone who has started the year trying to pursue their goal, you know there are many obstacles in the way to reaching it; sometimes the biggest obstacle is looking at us in the mirror. I could have, and in all honesty should have, completed my degree a year or two ago, but life happens. The fork in the road appeared and I took the scenic route along the way. If I hadn't decided to take my scriptwriting class, I wouldn't have seen a whole new avenue for my writing. I graduated in 2008 with my Associates in General Studies and in doing that, I could finally allow myself to take a breath. This short break from a four year degree gave me time to refocus on my personal interests and find a way to integrate them back into my life. My biggest obstacle was me and my erroneous belief that it was all or nothing in my relentless pursuit of my goal. Let's face it, the obstacles are there for a reason. Achieving something important is rewarding and fulfilling, but if we don't take the time to appreciate the efforts we put in to get there, we miss the point of the trip. If you encounter an obstacle, don't be afraid to ask for an opinion, taken lightly salted, or to ask for help. You'd be surprised how many people really want you to succeed because if you can do it, then maybe they can too. Share the trip with those that matter, the ups and downs and all around, but mostly enjoy the fact you are moving forward.

The Journey: Preparing To Win

The first day of my new school and a complete semester of on-line classes awaits me on Tuesday like Damocles sword dangling over my head! I am eager to finish my degree and these classes will take me halfway to that goal. My apprehension lies in the discipline, or my sometimes lack thereof, that accompanies on-line classes. I have done well at them in the past, yet four on-line classes is a daunting feat to say the least. I need to prepare myself, like any focused individual should, to succeed on my journey toward the endgame.

Mark Twain and I are going to become well acquainted over the next sixteen weeks and I hope we shall remain friends after the end of the term. I fear my fondness for A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court will be sorely tested this spring and my concern for Huck Finn will dwindle to nothing. I am tempted to visit the Mark Twain House in Hartford to satisfy my curiosity about the man and to reassure myself that he is worthy of the volumes of reading I now find myself bound to. Hmm...I ended the sentence with a preposition, what would Sister Kirsten think? But, I digress. I have an admitted insatiable appetite for reading and knew perfectly well what I was getting myself into, yet the reality of it is here and all too challenging. I need to sit down and prepare a schedule that will help me enjoy the journey through this semester because if I am not enjoying school, then what is the point?

I must prepare myself to win, like any battle tested warrior and that preparation begins today with my first peek at the classes themselves. I need to buy books, notebooks and calculators because, alas, I need to take Statistics and those who know me, know how joyful a class I won't find this. By allocating time during the week and utilizing my lunch hour, I will maximize my time to complete assignments and to even buy myself some time to read for pleasure, a guilty pleasure at best, but we all need a reward during the battle to ensure our continued dedication to the task at hand. As you continue on your journey in life and pursue that which makes you happy, I leave you with a quote from the famous and wonderful Mark Twain: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Enough said.

Writing Course Revisited

As we begin day three of our adventure into 2010, I am all too aware of how quickly 2009 flew by, making my vow to make the most of every opportunity that comes my way a bit more urgent in my eyes. A couple of years ago, I signed up for a writing course and did not complete it. I had long since forgotten about the class, but they apparently had not forgotten me. I received an e-mail from them this morning stating that I can resume my class provided I pay a $39 activation fee. I hear the chuckles and the scoffs, but in all fairness, I would have to pay a new admission fee were I to enroll back at any other college I left and pay for the course all over again. Since the activation fee is nominal when compared to the current cost of the class, I am sending in my money and will resume where I left off. Knowing I will receive college credits for this class, it is a no brainer to me, just money and time well spent.

It seems strange that I am receiving some interesting and welcome choices to pursue my writing now that I have made the commitment to make it happen this year. I like to think it is a synchronization of the universe and that my time for writing has arrived. In reality, I may have simply overlooked the opportunities that came my way thinking there was no way to utilize the opportunity to segue it into a meaningful pursuit. Confidence comes from being comfortable in your own skin and that confidence means taking a professional risk that is more than just a calculated risk; it is an opportunity that needs to be taken, no matter the outcome. It was once said that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Maybe luck is really just a matter of preparation meets a well timed opportunity. As I said, I could have finished this course a long time ago and because life happens, the opportunity has presented itself at a more fitting juncture in my life.

As you endeavor to achieve your own personal goal, keep in mind that change is uncomfortable, which is why so many people stay where they are. They are in their comfort zone and know the parameters and the expectations that come along with doing what they know. I am farther outside my comfort zone than you might think. I enjoy writing and using my imagination for stories and contests, but being a faceless entry in a writing competition is less intimidating than opening up in a blog. In order to expand my horizons and therefore my options and opportunities, I find it necessary to take my skills to another level and put myself out there, literally. Big risks can bring big failure, but they can also bring much success and take your life on a path you might otherwise not have taken.

The Fortune Cookie With Attitude

After our Chinese dinner, my son Matthew handed me my fortune cookie. Alas, this fortune cookie wasn't chocolate covered like the ones they used to sell at the “The Square” as our local mall used to be called, but enough about fond memories. My fortune is a timely one considering my “goal” to write more and to earn my degree this year; it read: “It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes a difference.” Simple, but it says it.

As any coach will tell you, it's all in the preparation. If you don't train hard, work hard, and play hard then you aren't putting 110% into your efforts. For me, I was only putting in marginal effort on my writing when I chose to sit down and grace the computer and my story with my presence. I was hardly exhibiting the will to prepare myself to win; I was floating along hoping the story would write itself. A couple of years ago, I came across a scriptwriting competition that I wanted to enter but even my imagination was stymied because I didn't have a clue how to write one. Since I'm not one of those prolifically talented people who can sit down and whip out a script without knowing the basics, I enrolled in a scriptwriting class at my local community college. By the end of the semester, I had a solid outline on my script and turned it into a 120 page Civil War drama. I entered the contest a year after I originally saw it, confident that I had done my best. Though I didn't place in that competition, it was a valuable learning experience that continues to motivate me on my road to success.

While my son was driving us to a graduation party this past summer, I was bouncing story ideas off him. We came up with some great ideas along I-84 so I searched for a paper and pen, lest I forget them. Imagine my horror when I realized I had no pen to write with and the only paper I could find was a church bulletin in my pocketbook. I did, however, have eyeliner. As they say, where there's a will, there's a way, but you can bet I don't leave home without checking to make sure I have a pen and notepad with me. The biggest difference in my life now from this time last year is my willingness to prepare to win. Without laying the foundations of success by taking it one step, or one blog at a time, my will to win means nothing. Have you taken one step today?

Resolutions...why bother?

As the new year approaches, we all begin our quest to find the perfect resolution: to lose weight, to exercise more, to spend more time with the kids....um, I can't think of anyone who wants to spend more time at work, but maybe it's me. I've decided, as my Facebook friends all know, that I wouldn't use the word resolution, which in and of itself seems destined for failure, but to use the word “goal” to make it more palatable and less likely to fail. To that end, I've begun this blog. As an aspiring writer, I am always dreaming of “becoming” a writer, and even though I've sat down at the computer and worked diligently (okay...sometimes) on my scripts, I feel like a child with attention deficit trying to accomplish so much, that nothing gets finished, submitted and ultimately purchased. I did receive an Honorable Mention from Writers Digest in October, yeah me! Not exactly a by-line or published article, but in my little world and for my little ego, I'll take it. The biggest goal I have for this year is to be awarded my Bachelors Degree in English from Charter Oak State College. I wanted to optimize my time with my family and the unwanted commute to school is the perfect place to start. I enjoyed my classes on-campus, but at this point, I want my degree and I'll take the road less traveled in order to achieve it.

Resolutions are a great way to begin a new year, but unless we are willing to take actions to achieve the end result, it can be a lesson in futility. Perhaps the real aim is to make a personal, clean start in the new year and renew our commitment to something important to us, and not just our family, friends or co-workers. Resolutions are typically “me” oriented and maybe our yearning for self-importance is more important than we'd care to admit. Day to day life tends to usurp our attention, not to mention our energy, and our ability to define “me” time as anything but selfish, though it truly is a vital part of our ability to cope. Most resolutions are motivated for positive, self-affirming choices: quitting the nicotine habit, caffeine, soda...whatever it is we see as a challenge to be conquered. Resolutions are difficult to maintain because they require sacrifice on our part and continued sacrifice during an extended period of time. We are always amazed and proud of those who are able to commit to a dream and make it work, at least I am. And if I'm being honest, I'm sometimes a bit envious of that dedication. Few people are able to sustain the dedication to the task of changing something they have clung to for whatever reason. For myself, it was the realization that once the bachelors degree is in hand, I actually have to decide what I want to be now that I'm grown up...teacher, lawyer, writer? It is a big choice and I understand the “kid in a candy store” cliché because when you have the world at your fingertips, it is an overwhelming, awe inspiring place to be. I encourage anyone out there to commit to a change, any positive change for even as little as a day, knowing that each time we try, we are one step closer to making it work. If I had thought that my bachelors degree would have taken me this long, I might not have started, but now that I'm this close, it was well worth it!

I don't know what 2010 is going to bring, but I know that I will try to finish what I've started for a change, both academically and professionally. I expect to bring home my bachelors degree this summer and to finish at least one more script by year end. Are these goals achievable? Absolutely! Will I manage to complete them? That's my goal and I hope you come along for the ride and share my ups and downs. We can offer each other encouragement and the knowledge that when you're in it together, anything is possible. So, why bother with resolutions? That's easy, because we all have the chance at making it right, so why not take that leap of faith and reach for the stars. Til tomorrow....